Just venting out

I don’t feel like fighting anymore. I hate fighting it. I’m so tired of fighting it…

My soul leans, tired of failing, it pressures, asphyxiating what little is left of hope. Sick of trying, helpless, in dismay, pain pounds eternally…it’s overwhelming.

My mind betrays me, even though it ceased to be mine eons ago. Thoughts and feelings of hope displaced by the shadows of despair. The bowels of sanity wretched by this endless battle.

Senseless thoughts whirling, chanting and whispering words understood only by denial.

Blinded by the grieving, trapped by confusion and chained by a ruthless suppressor, yet known for an eternity. Holding on to walls of ether and trying not to keep falling. As though as willfully displaced into this hell hole by inertia and haunted by the past, present and future.

A self-imposed martyrdom prevails as I hold myself in this cage of thorns, feeding on the splinters torment, with a key in my pocket which I deny to use, for a reason unknown to me.

Inspiration and bliss evade me. Whatever little is left permeates my subconscious with a layer of unease. Its remains soaked in chaotic dismay, armoring itself by the cast of oblivion, only to become untraceable.

No one will ever understand me, and what soul I expect if I don’t even understand myself.